Colin Costello

Here's my list of 2016's major dogs.

"Wiener-Dog"

Not just my worst film of 2016, but also possibly the entire decade. This cruel film from Todd Solond zabout a dachshund being transferred from one oddball owner to the next is sold as a black comedy. No. While there are nervous and uncomfortable laughs to be had, any film that shows a dog being run over by a car five times is just cruel. Yes five times. I hated this film.

"Suicide Squad"

Truth be told, I really did not hate "SS." It’s just a HUGE disappointment. I love David Ayer as a director, but the powers that be at WB and DCEU really screwed the pooch in the edit room. Margot Robbie stands out as Harley Quinn and Will Smith as Deadshot.

"Gods of Egypt"

Hey guys, let’s make a film about ancient Egypt and their gods. But, here’s the rub: We will cast all white actors. Let’s use awful CGI as well. What do you think? I can’t print what I think!

"Boss"

Melissa McCarthey and her husband Ben Falcone, should never ever write a film together again. They fail every time.

"Nocturnal Animals"

If this film had just been about Jake Gyllenhaal trying to rescue his kidnapped wife & daughter from crazed Aaron Taylor Johnson, then I would have loved this film. Michael Shannon is amazing. But the real plot is Amy Adams lying on a couch and reading a novel written by “real life” author and ex-husband, Jake Gyllenhaal. As beautiful as she is, knowing that Amy is just reading a book, diminished the stakes for me. A snoozefest.

"Alice Through The Looking Glass"

Johnny Depp looks like a pedophile. That is all.

"Allegiant"

These films get worse with each one. Who's responsible for pushing Shailene Woodley? Who?!

"Criminal"

Ryan Reynolds inhabits Kevin Costner’s brain, making him a super sleuth. Whaaaaat? Tommy Lee Jones is a brilliant scientist? Whaaaaat?

"Independence Day: Resurgence"

The writers & producers could've made a real statement about today’s politics and the world falling apart and how we have to come together with this long-awaited sequel. Instead, they gave Judd Hirsch as many bad Jewish jokes as possible to show that he’s Jewish. Like we weren’t aware?

"Ghostbusters"

The film doesn’t fail because they cast four women. It fails because the jokes aren’t funny.

Arf.

 

Categories: The Biz

About The Author

Colin Costello’s credits include 2013’s “The Stream,” the Emmy Nominated “Moochie Kalala Detective’s Club” & the upcoming family film, “Traveling Without Moving.”

 

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